Story of the Dog Park

A little side entertainment to keep you interested until we get to New Orleans. This story is totally unrelated to anything regarding SRE, but does that surpirse you?

According to the lovely Linda Biddle, this blog for SRE 2010 is not about me. That said, (gee thanks Linda for your instruction and many many many many years of wisdom) this story is not about me but about dogs. Many, many many dogs, big ones , little ones, aggressive ones, mean ones, short ones, tall ones, but one thing they all have in common, they hump, smell each other, pee on everything even people and poop. Its kind of funny when you see these macho guys with their macho Rottweilers or German Shepards, Mastiffs, Boxers, and Pit Bulls strutting around the doggy park in their sleeveless muscle shirts. And all of a sudden their big bad dog decides he has to poop. Not in some discrete location as not to embarrass their owner. They find the most conspicuous location in the dog yard. Either right smack in the middle where everyone can watch the big burly dude strut across the yard with a little green plastic bag, scoop up the deposit and walk back across the yard, bag in hand, arm bent at a 45 degree angle as if he is daintily carrying a clutch purse, to then drop the little bag in the trash. What’s even more funny is the little present the doggy left for his master is much more voluminous than the bag can hold. Two baggers are even more entertaining.

My first experience at the dog park I had to chuckle at the sight of these rituals. Unfortunately, I forgot that I had a rather large dog with me too. Not a ferocious beast, but a 70-pound Yellow Lab who is more than willing to leave me presents to pick up where ever he goes. And of course, trying hard not to be that guy, well, you know what happens to “those” people. “Those” people is me. Inevitably trying not to be ”that guy” always lands me right smack into trouble with the title in large letters across my balding head. Come one come all, see “THAT GUY” yeah the one NO ONE wants to be.

But of course my dog has to be unique. He can’t just be happy humiliating me in front of men, women and children, depositing his waste on the other side of the yard so I have to walk in front of everyone, no not Boomer. Boomer decides he is going to pee on everything and anyone. A big round fun looking ball to play with? No, Boomer doesn’t aggressively attack the ball and run around with it. He pees on it so no one in the entire dog community will go near it. Not even the dogs will play with it. Nice going Boomer. But hey, he doesn’t stop there; good old Boomer takes it one more notch up the ladder of embarrassment and humiliation. He likes to pee on unsuspecting people. One poor dude, standing in the middle of the yard watching his dog was a victim of Boomer’s wet antics. Boomer nonchalantly swaggered on over behind the man, lifts his back leg, and before you know it or before I can even get the words out of my mouth “NOOOOO BOOMERRRRR” he lets loose. Holy Cow! What was he thinking? “Gee, there’s a nice person I think I might go pee on him”. Or maybe, hmmm, “someone needs to be peed on, so there is a guy bigger than my master and meaner looking that that guy Matt on Operation Repo.” And of course, maybe one time peeing on someone Boomer might get a pass, you know, a break, like “oh he’s a dog, I am sure it was a mistake or something.” Well just to solidify Boomer’s mindset as to whether or not he might do it ever again? He did!




We are quickly building a reputation at that dog park. Boomer is like the new kid on the block. When we first started visiting the park after we adopted him, people were enamored by him, “he’s so cute, and he is a good looking dog, how well behaved, what a sweet animal.” But now he has become that new kid who gets the reputation of being nothing but trouble. People leave when we show up, they murmur and mumble to each other about his antics, the other dogs make fun of him, and of course my reputation is now ruined. People bring raincoats, spray bottles and changes of clothes to the park in case Boomer shows up, just in case they are his next “pee victim.”

Well, I could go on about some other things he has done in public at the park, but this is a family blog so I will leave it out. I would have to start an “Adult Content” blog for those events. Feel sorry for Boomer if you must but hey, feel doubly sorry for me. I get blamed for everything he does!